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How A Hangry Grouchy Chunkamunk Survived Whole30

Last month, my husband and I completed the Whole30 (for the second time since October 2017). I did this for a variety of health reasons, with the primary one being that I was recently diagnosed with lupus and looking to reduce inflammation within my body.

30 days no sugar, no gluten, no dairy, no grains, no legumes. Which also means: no honey, no maple syrup, no fake sweeteners, no preservatives, no alcohol, no rice, no oatmeal. Which therefore means: every pseudo-healthy recipe people have ever given you is pretty much off the table. 

I was terrified. I cried a lot. I made a journal that reads like a prelude to a serial killer's log of kills and body locations. 

But we survived! And I lost 14 lbs and looked and felt better than I had in years. 

Here's some advice and ideas for how to effectively survive and thrive on the Whole30:

1. Eat the same things as much as you possibly can. 

This eliminates the need to be creative and cook 3-5x per day. My first go-round, I was menu planning LIKE A BOSS, but it was exhausting. This time, I've eaten the same thing for breakfast every day. Over medium eggs, avocado, sweet potato hash, bacon. Lunch has also been a lot of repetition- chicken salad, an apple, pistachios. Dinners are where I spent my energy getting creative.

2. Don't look at social media feeds.

Consider this your opportunity to cleanse more than your body. Instagram is filled with gooey cinnamon roll pictures and the sexiest NSFW grilled cheese sandwiches, and trust me, your tender heart is too sensitive to view these images during this time. Delete the apps or you will cry into your phone.

3. Go to bed early.

Bedtime by 9:30pm made a huge difference for my late night binge-eating tendencies. I cleaned up my sleeping habits by reducing screen time (awful, but worth it) and doing an extensive skincare routine. This made it easier to wake up early and start the day of eggs, eggs, and more eggs over again.

4. Games.

Guys, I haven't played Candy Crush since 2014, but guess what? Now I'm on level 753. It kept my hands and mind busy so I wouldn't mindlessly snack! I am now unfortunately addicted to Candy Crush and several other random games that were advertised to me during my many gaming binges, but those don't have any effect on my overall bodily inflammation. Except maybe I have arthritis in my hands from gaming? We'll never know.

5. Do it with a partner

If you try and do this alone, you WILL die. It's a fact. You need a friend to share recipes with, bounce ideas off of, and vent to about cravings. Choose the right partner, though. Someone of strong will and moral fiber, because if you select a weakling, they will without a doubt encourage you to cheat on this diet and it's not the energy you need in your life to succeed.

Overall, I DO NOT endorse the idea of a cleanse or a long term maintenance of such a strict elimination diet. I simply feel better after jumpstarting my system with the Whole30 diet and enjoy the way it feels to nourish my body with only clean ingredients.

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